fears & preferences

"... So you can't always trust preferences to begin with. They can come out in a lot of places that are not so healthy:
- Fears of intimacy can attract you to detached people
- Fears of autonomy can attract you to controlling people
- Fears of being real can attract you to perfectionistic people
- Fears of your own sinfulness can attract you to 'bad' people
- Fears of your own neediness can attract you to weak, passive people
- unresolved family of origin issues can attract you to someone who is like a parent that you had trouble with
- And the list go on..

So, the warning here is to observe your preferences and value them, but be open to the fact that they may not be so good for you after all..."

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"What You Can Live With and What You Can't Live With: Limiting Preferences"
BOUNDARIES in Dating - Making Dating Work
by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
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